The flood of good news started just after lunch. As I do every lunch break, I was carrying out a routine check of my personal e-mail. I expected to find the usual, spam e-mails, a few promotional e-mails from Gap or M&S, or if I'm lucky, an e-mail from my mother telling me she's about to sue yet another person. Instead, what I see in my inbox is an e-mail with an attachment of my January exam results. With my heart pounding, my hands shaking uncontrollably, I go to download the attachment. The time it took to download seemed like an eternity. But once in full view, I see the magical word, "pass" for both subjects. Before I've even had time to compose myself, I ran over to Foxy Toxi to tell her the news. A few tears follow and the feeling of elation sets in. The fact of the matter is, I was really convinced that I'd failed them. With my new dream job riding on me passing these exams, it means the job offer still stands and I still have a chance at doing something I love.
I shouldn't get too ahead of myself really. I still have two more exams coming up, but for the time being, I'm happy in the knowledge that I'm on the right track.
The next piece of information is confidential and (legally) I'm not allowed to reveal it until 1st of May, so I'll tell you then. All you need to know is that it's great news (for me, not you (isn't it always about me?)).
The final news came toward the end of the day. Just when I was about to shut my computer down and set off for a big night of heavy Flame celebrations, I see yet another surprising e-mail in my inbox. This time, it's from my future firm. They've finally, after almost eight months of me chasing them, sent me my employment contract. Now I have an actual start date: 8th August. I'll need to be back in Canada by this date to start my new life as a trainee lawyer (how grown up is that?!), and to generally start a new life (how scary is that?!). (Yes I know, I know, I still have to pass two exams!)
Contrary to what I said a few months ago, in this new life, I very much see Stouty there. In fact, I don't even want to imagine a new life without him. You think that's cheesy, get a load of this: I love Stouty so much, I could see a lifetime with him. (Sorry to those with a weak gag-reflex. Now go clean yourselves up.)
To sum up, yesterday was an amazing day. The future has never seemed brighter.
Now, apologies for the delay in addressing those three bullet points from 30 March. They seem so irrelevant now and I feel like a big turd for having built them up so much. Alas, you still need the full story, so I'll give it to you, but you must excuse the (little) credit I accord each point (credit should be given only where deserved).
- Smarty, in his text, insisted that we should be together. I said no because I don't feel the same way, blah blah blah, then he cut himself off from me again (for the third time). We haven't spoken since.
- Before the above incident, Smarty was convinced that the recent earthquake in Japan took place in Chernobyl. I corrected him (and repeatedly asked myself why I slept with him so many times).
- Stouty threatened Anteater while on a company night out. Anteater was drunk and insisted on several chats with me. Stouty told him to back off. Anteater is so ugly (and I repeatedly asked myself why I slept with him more than once (mind, the first time didn't count because all the "skin" kept getting in the way)).
Now, regarding Stouty's butt, this is a topic worthy of a blog entry of its own, but at the risk of not writing another entry for a couple of weeks, I'll just provide some detail now and maybe come back to it at a later date (when I can give his ass the credit it deserves). What makes Stouty's tushy so luscious? Picture two of the most perfectly formed melons. They're firm, they're a perfect fit in the palms of both hands, and they're smooth, so smooth. That's Stouty's ass. His cheeks are ridged in the right way, and they pout, boy do they pout. I could stare at his ass all day. In fact, I have a picture of it on my phone, so ... bye!
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