Morgan's tale of sex and frolic

Let me tell you a tale as it unfolds of a girl's experiences most true and profound. She is a girl of 28, a worldly and educated sort who once upon a time had the convenience of falling into a great and spiraling love, an almost mythical kind of love (mirroring those of the Greek gods), which would eventually end in an equally thunderous and tumultuous way. Since her unprecedented heartbreak, she has been meeting and cavorting with several young male companions, usually with the assistance of her sophisticated friend, Sauvignon. Her name: Morgan. Her ambition: lawyer. Her bad luck: men.
The tale must be told, of Morgan's experiences with the opposite sex, since her union with her first love was brought to an end. These experiences are bound to shock, marvel and astonish, but alas, they must be told, as they are all based on true events. There must no doubt be a force trying to reckon with Morgan. It is only a wonder what kind of karma she must have pissed off.

The tale begins...

Wednesday, 22 December 2010

Eat, pray, Stouty

Stouty stayed over two nights in a row. I should now like to reflect on the last 48 hours.

Monday:
Having forgotten to set my alarm, I woke up at 8.30 am, bolting out of bed and uttering "f*ck!" over and over. I still needed to shave my legs, straighten my hair and pick the perfect outfit for my date with Stouty in the evening. I didn't have time for all of this so I threw on a dress/cardigan combo I'd tried out before and dashed out of the apartment in record time. But there I was, on the Docklands Light Railway, obsessing over my outfit. I hadn't had enough time to mull over it and I simply wasn't satisfied. When I got to Canary Wharf, I sprinted into Gap and frantically looked around for an entirely new outfit, one that would go better with my shoes. I finally got to work at 10.30 am, sporting a Gap bag containing a new pair of skinny jeans, t-shirt, cardigan and a scarf. All this effort, and there was a great chance Stouty wouldn't make it into work because of all the snow. When I saw Will's empty desk (Will also commutes from Brighton), I was convinced that the shop attendants at Gap had seen me sweating excessively for no reason. But, as luck would have it, Stouty made it into work (Will was probably unlucky with the trains ... ahem) and he wrote me an e-mail saying he was excited to see me later.

After work, we went for a couple of drinks at Baklava's bar (thankfully, Baklava wasn't working). There we sat talking, alone and sober in a public place together for the first time. It was delightful. He made me feel at ease and his sense of humour let me warm up to him quickly. When we got back to my place, we ate some pizza, drank some more wine and watched Tropic Thunder on DVD. This was then followed by yet another hot sexual episode. Let me just pause here to make an announcement:

Monday, 20th December 2010 was the day I experienced the biggest climax. The BIGGEST CLIMAX.

Stouty was very patient with me. He was going down on me for what seemed to be an eternity. He kept going until I reached the big "O", which, as I said, was BIG. BIG BIG BIG! It lasted forever and I was biting into my pillow to keep from screaming (I didn't, after all, want to wake up the neighbours or startle my housemate). Stouty must have been proud of his conquest and he was most certainly turned on. We had passionate/aggressive sex for another 45 minutes. When he finished, he put on my pink robe and went out into the living room where my housemate was having a late dinner with her boyfriend. There, he had his post-sex cigarette and chinwagged with the lovely couple. I stayed in bed, still trying to regain my breath.

Tuesday:
Stouty and I went into work together and continued to communicate throughout the day over company e-mail. He asked if I wanted to go for a quick drink after work, which of course, I did (despite the fact that I am now three weeks behind my study schedule). He also suggested that Will and Flame come along. I loved the idea - to have drinks with my three favourite boys! And drinks were fun. At one point, I laughed so hard that a little trickle of pee came out.

It was Stouty's last day at work before the Christmas holidays so he suggested spending another night with me, if I wanted him to. I was over the moon. Another night with Stouty would be amazing. Yes, of course I wanted him to. In fact, my first reaction was that I would call in sick for work and spend the day with Stouty. But this was bad thinking. Just because I like spending time with him, I shouldn't be thinking about calling in sick - that would be anti-feminist indeed, not to mention immoral!

Wednesday:
I called in sick to work and spent the day with Stouty. I cooked him a late breakfast, which consisted of bacon, cheese and poached eggs in English muffins. The muffins were cooked in the toaster Stouty bought for me the night before (my old one being broken). He called this my "Christmas present" (fair enough). We then lounged around half naked for a few hours, watching Friends and Gilmore Girls on TV. This was followed by some more hot, passionate/aggressive sex - in the shower as I got my period during the night and I didn't want to dirty the sheets even more. The shower was in the dark, with the only light coming from a single candle. Wow.

I made Stouty a big, hearty dinner, which caused him to fart non-stop until he left to catch his train back to Brighton.

He wants to see me again on Boxing Day, but I really should start focusing on my studies. My exams are in three weeks.

Oh Stouty, I hope I'm not falling for you. I'm only around for another eight months.