Morgan's tale of sex and frolic

Let me tell you a tale as it unfolds of a girl's experiences most true and profound. She is a girl of 28, a worldly and educated sort who once upon a time had the convenience of falling into a great and spiraling love, an almost mythical kind of love (mirroring those of the Greek gods), which would eventually end in an equally thunderous and tumultuous way. Since her unprecedented heartbreak, she has been meeting and cavorting with several young male companions, usually with the assistance of her sophisticated friend, Sauvignon. Her name: Morgan. Her ambition: lawyer. Her bad luck: men.
The tale must be told, of Morgan's experiences with the opposite sex, since her union with her first love was brought to an end. These experiences are bound to shock, marvel and astonish, but alas, they must be told, as they are all based on true events. There must no doubt be a force trying to reckon with Morgan. It is only a wonder what kind of karma she must have pissed off.

The tale begins...

Saturday, 1 January 2011

A new year, a new me?

Happy new year everyone! May the gracious comforts of life be generous to you in 2011!

This blog will be relatively short (as I am experiencing a comedown from the Jack and Jill I took yesterday and would very much like to go to bed soon). 

2010 was a fine year indeed. It was a year of personal growth and development, and of new beginnings and experiences:
  • I was offered my dream job in environmental law (after four years of trying). 
  • I finally (and yes, quite recently) got over M (after nearly two years of trying). 
  • I learnt how to ride a scooter. Then had an accident on the scooter.
  • I discovered the wonders of Jack and Jills. 
  • I had sex with five new people (WW, Male Model, Anteater, Baklava and Stouty). 
  • I contracted Chlamydia...twice.
  • I travelled to three new places: Amsterdam, Cayman Islands and Vegas. (Wait, is there a pattern here?)
  • I lost 6 lbs.
I've decided 2011 should be equally as great, and that means putting my pleasure-loving hat back on (as I think I've been consumed with other people's feelings as of late). Here's my compromise: I'll enjoy the carnal pleasures of life until August (that's when I start my new, sophisticated and very left-wing job of saving the environment). Then when August rolls around, I'll go straight; I'll happily embrace adulthood (that's right, at the stunning age of 28), knowing that I've experienced youth in all its finest glory. 

So far, here's what I've got lined up for 2011: 
  • Sex with Stouty tomorrow and the day after (he's staying over until we go back to work on the 4th). 
  • Write my f*cking exams in less than three f*cking weeks and just get them out of the f*cking way. F*cking f*ck f*ck. 
  • Amsterdam again at the end of January to smoke as much pot as I can possibly smoke. 
  • More Jack and Jills in February and March, but no more after March just in case I'm made to take a drug test at my new job. 
  • May: more f*cking exams. 
  • June to August: South America and East Asia.
I hope you'll continue to follow me on my debaucherous quest throughout 2011 ;)

No comments:

Post a Comment