Text offender

I have decided that it would be in everyone's best interest (or at least my own) if Baklava and I have a textual relationship only. That is, we are to be text buddies, casual texters, texting each other up, maintaining textual acquaintance, texters with benefits, etc etc. I'm talking about text baby; I'm talking about Baklava and me.

Two nights ago (the night after he came over - "came" in the purely "he came over to my place" sense), I got into a very sexy back and forth with Baklava over SMS. I had polished off at least an entire bottle of wine so I was feeling frisky and riled up back at home. If it had been anyone else, I would have called, but with Baklava's creepy English, text messaging suited me just fine. There was, of course, the wait between each message (I imagine he had to refer to his pocket Turkish-English dictionary on several occasions), but my god, when his message finally came through, he was so textually descriptive. He paraded sexual power. He was, on every account, a text god!

Now, he can't spell "sweet", but he knew the words "w*nk" and "p*ssy". I was no saint myself. His textually explicit language certainly got me all hot and bothered. When he finished, he wrote:

Oh my god, it was like a volcano. You should have seen but you felt it. xxxx it was really wonderful.

Apparently, it was like a volcano.

So our evening together wasn't a success, but I think things are going to be different now that we are textual lovers, bringing texty back, Baklava's text is on fire, Baklava is a text bomb, text bomb, etc etc.

I'm due to see Thumb Ring tonight but I think I'll cancel. Having spent the night at Smarty's last night, and having spent the night before getting texted out by Baklava, I could really do with a night in.  

With thanks to Will and Tweedle (formerly "V") for their input.